I did it!
Today is my last day at Arup, potentially my last day as a landscape architect. I love affair with a long coming break up.
I’m waiting for my final commuting train to Bristol, I am slower, taking snapshots with my eyes of every step I take – a journey I have been making for almost two years with a commute to Swindon for a year prior to that.
The billboards, the underground passageways and the smiles of the friendly people at the ticket booth who have become so well acquainted with my everyday ritual.
No bike today he asks? Why you so late, you on holiday? Surely you’re not going to Bristol on your day off? – It’s my final day, I reply! Oh you’re staying in Bath? They say. Yes I beam.
They thought I was on holiday, was it my casual clothing, my bright eyes and gentle smile, my slow demeanour, my steady pace?
I am breathing deeper than I have for weeks, months, could it be years?
Lighter. I feel lighter and courageous and what a wonderful feeling that is!
I feel hope. Hope for my life and my being. My mind is restful in this day.
There are twinges of sadness, guilt, quickly washed away with the thought of what may be, will be.
I feel packed with knowledge and lessons. Some stemming from education, but most from experience.
I truly feel like I am on a journey today and this will be a notice on the timeline registering change and decision.
I’m getting off my phone now, my eyes are open, I am ready and I am waiting.
(Just two little photos with a whole lot of memory – a whole lot of work took place in that seat over two years, physically and mentally, a lot of emotion – I was and still am forever grateful for those trees!)