I sit and I listen and I find myself drifting off, drifting off into a mind state of panic. I snap myself back to the conversation – concentrate, nod, smile, agree; get engaged. I fear and know that my presence appears negative, rude and somewhat dismissive. This conversation disinterests me, it does not stimulate me, I do not feel like I can input into this conversation. With sadness I know that this isn’t my life, I am living a fake identity.